I Wish He Chose To Stay

A very close friend of mine ended his own life on Wednesday morning 9/9/15.

He texted me that morning at 7:23 AM  "Know that I've been praying for you."

And then he took his life...

I found out that night, and I was shocked, in disbelief, and then crushed...

I collapsed on my bed sobbing.... :'(  My mom held me for a while and then my dad came and also held me. He gave me a blessing to give me comfort. It meant so much to me that he did that.

I had 2 yard work jobs the next day, I am grateful I worked alone because I kept breaking down off and on...

It hurts to know that despite how hard I have tried, in the end, it didnt work to keep him here.
He was always an amazing friend. He was always willing to help out and he loved to serve. He stood up for what he believed in. He was so nice, always trying to help someones day go better. The world lost a very amazing person...

Even though I know he is in a better place, I still have so many emotions of confusion, pain, hurt, and sometimes anger...although I feel bad for feeling that way.

Something that gives me comfort is that He is now able to see clearly how much he is loved. I am positive that Heavenly Father is taking amazing care of him...I am sure he is with loved ones, feeling love and joy.
It still hurts when I think about it...His funeral was on Monday the 14th, I wished I didn't have to go..But I know I needed to I guess to face it, or to let him know I cared.. He was loved here, He is loved by so many. I wish we could have helped him see that better. I wish I could have done more :(
I wish I could have....

The last time I saw him was the Sunday before he passed. We talked for a few minutes and I gave him a half hug...I visited his grave this week and I told him that next time I saw him I would give him a good hug. I didn't know it would be the last time on Earth I would have the chance. If I would have known I would have given him a better hug. :/

It is so interesting watching my life now, how hard it is to get back into reality. Its painful some days, then others I am fine, or even happy! I wasn't expecting this, I feel like every part of life right now has been affected, everything is more confusing, more hard to do the normal every day things.

The only thing I know is that  as I turn my life over to God, he will help me overcome this..I just need to pray that God will lift this burden for me. I am grateful to have the knowledge that there is life after death, and that My Savior knows the pain that I am going through. He suffered for everyone.

Balancing Everything?

I came across this tree on my walk today. I found it interesting how half of it was perfectly green and the other half was completely dead!
It got me thinking about my own life and wondering if my life was staying balanced or if I was keeping one part green while other parts were dying...

How often do you take an inventory of your life and examine whether you could be spending more time in areas that may be neglected. We have a lot of areas: Work, education, family, friends, spiritual, physical, mental, others! How are you doing?

For me, I am doing better than I ever have with my physical health, although I am still trying to figure out why I'm not sleeping well. For my education and mental health, I have been attending college and sometimes I will pick up a personal development book. I also recently started a classic called Girl of the Limberlost. My emotional health has been quite an adventure trying to figure out. I find that if I keep a journal and do hobbies occasionally then I feel more emotionally stable. I am working on that one. I have been trying to keep in better contact with my family and stay involved in their lives, and I realized that I really love my family! Imagine that! Friends, well, not sure about that subject at the moment.
So, my point is YOU need to take an inventory of your life. Just check in and ask yourself, "How am I doing?" and then listen for a response.
Do you want a beautiful, green tree, or a dying one?

This is a momentous occasion in history....Starting at 18:05 mins for the 1.5 mile run at the start of the semester....ending with 13:53 mins. at the end of the semester!!!
My goal was 15 mins...and I beat it! I have never been a runner but I feel awesome! Thank you Herbalife, my clogging class 3x per week, and motivation! I feel soo PROUD of myself!!

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Growth Opportunities

Every trial and adversity that we experience in life is a Growth Opportunity.

When I decide to become better and to do better, life sends me little trials, heart aches, things that hurt I feel like just because it wants to find out just how serious I am about what I want. Keep Going.

It hurts, but it doesn't have to. We get to choose how we respond to everything. When life is dumping buckets of hurt and pain, we can chose how long we want to suffer from them. A year, a month, an hr. Just get through them. Don't let them control YOU. YOU ARE THE BOSS! YES YOU!

Take them for what they are, GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES. And then Grow from them...

It is ok to fall down sometimes. And next time, find out why you fell, learn from it, and respond better and stronger next time. No one is expected to be perfect in this life. What matters is you never stop learning. Keep Going. 

YOU ARE STRONG. YOU ARE POWER. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU HAVE A MISSION AND A PURPOSE THAT ONLY YOU CAN DISCOVER. YOU ARE UNIQUELY YOU!!!

YOU ARE AMAZING. GO FOR LIFE AND HAVE FUN DOING IT :D

If You aren't Learning, You aren't Living!

Learning is an essential part of Life. FACT.

Personal Development is something I feel very strongly about. I looove reading Personal development books :)

Yes, I love myself for where I am, and because I love myself, I want to continue learning and growing because I know my potential! 

I love how far I have come in the last couple years, with my business, my family and relationships, and my Faith. I also know that I can continue growing those areas because there is always room for improvement :) 

Right now I am reading a book called The Continuous Atonement-for teens by Brad Wilcox to improve my spiritual life.

I am also reading a book called Think and Grow Rich, so that I can grow my business more effectively.

 I also recently bought a book about How to start conversations and make friends. Not sure the exact title but something like that, so I can work with people better! :)

 Challenge for you!! Decide today to begin working on an area of your life you wish to improve and DO IT! Pick a book, and read it :) Learn from a mentor, study a topic. Endless options!! 

Live Life Full On =)

Interrupting the Pattern...

I went to an incredible training seminar in Las Vegas this weekend with my Herbalife Team. I was soo blown away!! We got to be taught for 2 1/2 hrs from Joseph McClinton III. If you don't know this guy, look him up!!!! SSOOOO amazing!

He taught us how to fill our lives with positive things, how to be happy, successful and just going for life!

So I am going to teach you how to do a very easy trick. It's pretty fun...

1. We all get stuck in a pattern of negativity, idleness, or downerness.. McClinton says that when we interrupt that pattern it creates a blank spot in your brain and YOU get to chose what to fill it with!
2. So, take a moment to think of something that brings you down, doesn't matter what. Think about that for a minute.
3. STOP, Jump up and shout "YES!" while you throw your fist in the air.
4. Raise one arm all the way up and with the other, jump up and give yourself a high five.
5. then, While grinning, pat your self on the back.

6.....REPEAT this process ten times in a row, but progressively get faster!

YOU CAN'T STOP SMILING CAN YOU? :D 

You will feel dorky doing it, don't worry...it's part of the fun! :)

You may notice that the longer you do it, the harder it is to find something to be sad about!

Joseph gave us this challenge, and now I give it to you, in honor of his wish that we Pay It Forward.

CHALLENGE:Every 2 Hours for the next 10 Days, repeat this process.

He says that Personal Development is doing and being who we want to become OVER and OVER again, until it becomes a habit.
So let us all work on becoming the positive happy individuals we were created to become. Go out and Have FUN! 

P.S. Sound effects are welcome and appreciated tehe