2015

A lot has happened this year....a lot of very big life changing things. I never pictured my year would be like this.

2015. Miracles. Angels. Limitless. Love. Family. 

The death of a close friend. Myself (almost) becoming a missionary. My last semester as a student at BYUI. Applying of a new school. Attending my first Limitless Seminar. Switching companies. Getting Engaged. Months of depression. Months of self-discovery, introspection, reevaluating, falling down, getting back up again.

I would call this year my biggest learning year up to this point. A lot of pain, a lot of joy, and a LOT of new experiences. I found my Best Friend, my Forever Love, and my Partner in crime :) Because of him, I have made it through this year haha I love him with all my heart so I would say every trial up till now has been worth it; it led me to finding the Love of my life!

After my Friend died, I took about 3 months to get back into life. I spent a lot of time alone. I spent a lot of time crying. I struggled, I felt very alone. I felt hurt and confused. But I realized that I was the one who brought those feelings to me. I had isolated myself, thrown up walls around my heart and basically shut out God for a while.

I feel out of the habit of talking to God, allowing Him to heal me, to comfort me, to speak to me. I am working on building up my relationship with Him again, but once out of the habit, its been tough getting back in it.

I am slowing chiseling away the walls, starting to feel warmth hitting my heart again. 

One of the biggest things I learned this year is, I CAN'T go it alone. And I most certainly can't go it without my God to support me, for He knows best and knows all. And He loves me.

When I feel most alone, it is because I have distanced myself from God. I don't want to ever feel that alone again. 

So I am making a Commitment for 2016, I commit to connecting with God every day. To unconditionally love others, especially my amazing future husband. 2016 will be filled with Miracles, with Connection, and with Love :)

-Live Life Full On

Living Life Full On-Toast Master Speech

The recounting of my trip in 2014 as a practice Toast Master speech. The Trip that inspired the name and mission of this beloved blog of mine ;)

It's Not Over Yet

My heart is brimming right now...I have felt so numb lately, but right now I need to express joy and awe at the Grace of God. I spent time talking to God today and I realized that I was stuck in a story of excuses as to why I was dying inside, and basically being pathetic...I was BELIEVING that story!!!

I realized it was a LIE...deep down, I knew what was really holding me back, but I was scared of admitting it, scared that I would disappoint myself, God, others...So I have tried covering it all up with a big FAT story!

But today I felt PAIN, because I realized the only thing that story has gotten me is...disappointment, shame, grief, depression, even physical health struggles...

ONE THING I KNOW, GOD WILL NEVER STOP LOVING ME, AND HE IS ALWAYS WILLING TO FORGIVE AND HELP ME ONCE I HUMBLE MYSELF AND REACH OUT. I AM SO OVERWHELMED WITH THE LOVE HE HAS FOR ME :)

Each of us are God's lambs. Each of us at one point or another have strayed and need rescued and brought back to the love and safety of the fold.

I am ready to break out of this story and run back into my Savior's open arms. "To everyone who's hit their limit, It's not over yet!"(King and Country-It's not over yet). It is time that I turned to God and let Him guide my life again :) 

KEEP on fighting, its not over yet!

-Maryssa M.

We Got This GUYS!

There ya have it! In order to get the most out of life and unleash your greatest potential, you need to go through some challenges. 

When Bad Days Come...

Inspire Wellness: A Thought on Depression and Anxiety

I Wish He Chose To Stay

A very close friend of mine ended his own life on Wednesday morning 9/9/15.

He texted me that morning at 7:23 AM  "Know that I've been praying for you."

And then he took his life...

I found out that night, and I was shocked, in disbelief, and then crushed...

I collapsed on my bed sobbing.... :'(  My mom held me for a while and then my dad came and also held me. He gave me a blessing to give me comfort. It meant so much to me that he did that.

I had 2 yard work jobs the next day, I am grateful I worked alone because I kept breaking down off and on...

It hurts to know that despite how hard I have tried, in the end, it didnt work to keep him here.
He was always an amazing friend. He was always willing to help out and he loved to serve. He stood up for what he believed in. He was so nice, always trying to help someones day go better. The world lost a very amazing person...

Even though I know he is in a better place, I still have so many emotions of confusion, pain, hurt, and sometimes anger...although I feel bad for feeling that way.

Something that gives me comfort is that He is now able to see clearly how much he is loved. I am positive that Heavenly Father is taking amazing care of him...I am sure he is with loved ones, feeling love and joy.
It still hurts when I think about it...His funeral was on Monday the 14th, I wished I didn't have to go..But I know I needed to I guess to face it, or to let him know I cared.. He was loved here, He is loved by so many. I wish we could have helped him see that better. I wish I could have done more :(
I wish I could have....

The last time I saw him was the Sunday before he passed. We talked for a few minutes and I gave him a half hug...I visited his grave this week and I told him that next time I saw him I would give him a good hug. I didn't know it would be the last time on Earth I would have the chance. If I would have known I would have given him a better hug. :/

It is so interesting watching my life now, how hard it is to get back into reality. Its painful some days, then others I am fine, or even happy! I wasn't expecting this, I feel like every part of life right now has been affected, everything is more confusing, more hard to do the normal every day things.

The only thing I know is that  as I turn my life over to God, he will help me overcome this..I just need to pray that God will lift this burden for me. I am grateful to have the knowledge that there is life after death, and that My Savior knows the pain that I am going through. He suffered for everyone.